We Eloped!

By now I am sure everyone has heard Jordan and I eloped while on vacation! Here is a snippet video of the week with a terrible quality video of our actual wedding in the middle.


We decided to take a vacation about 3 weeks before we were to leave. Two days after making that decision we decided if we were going, why not just get married? Jordan and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and have known we would marry each other for most of that time. The only problem was the when. I knew I didn’t want an engagement ring, we didn’t want to plan a wedding or spend so much money on one day and we already felt committed so we thought we might as well turn this vacation into a honeymoon. I have to say this was the best decision we could have made for ourselves. Our friends and families have been so supportive and awesome!

Let me tell you about our week!

Sunday we woke up at 5 a.m. to shower and get the last of our stuff together. We were out the door and at Starbucks by 6. Starbucks is the treat we give ourselves whenever we do anything grown up. When we have a day off and are running errands we get elaborate drinks and congratulate ourselves for adulting with the best of them. We were on the road by 6:20. Due to the coffee and me drinking a liter of water immediately, we stopped every hour for the first 5 hours of the 10 hour drive. This was excessive and kind of ridiculous. We listened to bad pop punk and emo from high school the whole way down. You will probably hear some of that in the background of the video. We stopped in Mississippi at a Cracker Barrel for lunch, which we found hilarious. Why does anyone in the south eat there? I know my grandma loves it, which is just hilarious. Our lunch was good of course, but come on guys. The drive through Mississippi is the most memorable part of the drive. The highway splits and both sides of the road are lined with huge green trees. I think we got a bit of that in the video, but it was kind of amazing. We finally got to New Orleans and had to contend with the city streets for about 6 blocks, but that was enough for Jordan to be thoroughly done with this driving business. We took our car to the garage and to the valet and put our belongings on the hotel cart; 2 suitcases, 1 duffle bag and 3 Schnucks bags full of shoes. That paired with our road worn appearance announced that we did not belong in this nice establishment. We checked in and went to our room. We waited an hour and our bags had not been delivered. The bags with the wedding clothes, rings, birth certificates, you know everything we need to get married. We called down and they said they hadn’t known where to send them because the guy didn’t take down our info. Once we started getting ready for dinner, we realized we forgot the hairbrush and Jordan’s deodorant. He went down to the gift shop and bought a $10 hairbrush that was the worst thing I have ever experienced on my head. You know how some lower level electronics are packaged in that hard plastic that you destroy your only pair of scissors on to open and cut your hands all up? Yeah this brush was like brushing your hair with that plastic. Once we tortured ourselves into some form of appropriateness, we went to dinner at the hotel’s restaurant the Rib Room. The food was good and they gave us a dessert as congratulations. After dinner we strolled down Bourbon. We quickly realized that Bourbon was not for us. We watched families with strollers walk past strip clubs. Parents clearly hammered directing their young children around the sticky messes of spilled alcohol and vomit. I mean do what you got to do, but that seems weird right? After about 30 minutes of exploring we crashed hard into bed.

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Monday was the big day!! We woke well rested and had a delicious breakfast in the hotel restaurant. After that I was off to get my hair and makeup done and Jordan had to iron and get cash. He also picked up a new normal brush that wouldn’t create scabs on our scalps. The hair dresser was great! I found out she had lived in St. Louis so we had a lot to talk about. She told me to go to Frenchmen Street instead of Bourbon and to eat the fried chicken. Toward the end of the appointment the city hall called and said they were pushing the appointment from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. The photographer was supposed to meet us at the courthouse and then after the ceremony go to the french quarter for pics. Luckily she is a peach and agreed to meet us at our hotel for pictures and then go to the courthouse. Her website is here and you can see the first of the pictures here. The ceremony took 2 minutes. We weren’t thinking about how we could just record it on my phone, and it looks a little blurry on hers, but you still get the gist and there are more pictures coming. We got to watch another couple get married before hand, and that was fun. The whole experience was really nice and relaxed. We made a lot of jokes and everyone in the office was laughing. By the time we were done and our photographer long gone, my feet were destroyed. Because of the flip flop of the time table we had to book it around the French Quarter. I had not been in heels in at least a year and boy was I in rough shape. Luckily there was an outlet mall near the ferry. My new husband (wow, that is weird) popped into the mall and got me some flip flops. While I waited on a bench I talked to a sweet girl on vacation for her birthday and a homeless woman who was looking for the snow ball stand. He was gone forever, and I had his phone so I couldn’t see if something had happened. Turns out the Forever 21 was on the other side of the mall. With what felt like new feet, we walked back to the hotel and started making the calls. I have to say this might have been my favorite part of the day after the actual wedding. Everyone was so excited for us and so nice. A couple honorable mentions: Taylor saying, “Wait are you serious, you have to tell me if you are lying because I will believe you.” John wrapping his head around it via call and text, it was so sweet for him to be so excited. The many “WHHAAAAAATTTT?!” people (Cary and Allison come to mind). Ashley saying that this was her new favorite thing. We got most of them done and then went to a VERY nice dinner at Commander’s Palace. This place is delicious and everyone is so nice. They brought us champagne and made wonderful recommendations. I highly recommend this place. We attempted to go to get drinks at the Carousel Bar but were too tired and went home to drink the champagne the hotel had sent to our room. I would like to take this time to shout to Rico at the Omni Royal Orleans. Dude took care of us and was the best! He was the first one to see us in our wedding gear and congratulate us on the day. We used this time to talk about the day and read some vows that we didn’t read earlier. I can honestly say my wedding day was perfect. I guess that happens when you marry the perfect person for you. Okay sapfest over, on to the vacation!

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Tuesday, we got up to late for breakfast across the street so we got a pastry then went on the hunt of a real meal. We end up eating at Eat New Orleans. The food was so good! It is heavy though and the portions were huge, I would suggest sharing or expect to have left overs. We walked down a couple blocks to the Voodoo Museum. This place is full from the floor to the ceiling with statues, tribal masks, alters and everything in between. Jordan went to the bathroom and I was alone in one of the rooms and was definitely creeped out. That’s the thing about the superstitious stuff, I don’t believe in it, but being surrounded by it leaves an impression. We went back to the hotel and napped. We then went to our psychic reading with Catherina. We did a psychometry, tea leaves, and crystal ball reading each. The lady has chops guys. The best part was when she told Jordan he had an ulcer and digestive problems, yep. His face was priceless. We grabbed an early dinner at Coops that was DELICIOUS! We went back and hung out at the hotel until our 8 p.m. 4-in-1 Witches, Ghosts, Vampires & Voodoo Walking Tour with Witches Brew. What a blast! We found our first Nicolas Cage moment of our honeymoon. He apparently owned the LaLaurie House without knowing and believe himself to be cursed. That is some crazy stuff. That night, despite being VERY tired, we took a cab over to Frenchmen Street. We went to the Spotted Cat (which was awesome) and then popped into a few other places down the street.

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Wednesday, we got up and got breakfast at Johnny’s Po Boy. The pancakes were delicious! We went on the 3-in-1 French Quarter, Cemetery & Voodoo Walking Tour. It was a very hot day, but that cemetery was amazing and was home to the second Nicolas Cage moment of our honeymoon. He has a pyramid tomb built there for when he dies. It was apparently part of getting rid of the LaLaurie House curse. We grabbed a frozen drink from one of the million shops that sell them and went back to the hotel and watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding while it down poured. We went back to Coop’s for a late lunch/snack, got another frozen drink then took a nap. We went to dinner at Antoine’s. The food was rich and delicious. Even after all the laying around, we were tired so we watched 21 Jump Street and relaxed.


Thursday was SWAMP TOUR DAY!!!!! We got up at 7:30 and were picked up at 8. So cool. I don’t know that I can describe it as well as the snippets in the video. Our tour guide was great. I would definitely recommend Cajun Pride Swamp Tours. We had lunch at NOLA, which was excellent, and then went to check out Voodoo Authentica and Esoterica. The Voodoo shop was cool, but the woman working was sitting there and didn’t say anything to us. Now Mimi at Esoterica (a witch shop) was full of personality and was happy to shoot the breeze with you. We were in there for probably an hour, which is amazing because the store had little air conditioning. She told us to have children now before we miss the chance and all about her family. We ended up getting a couple trinkets and went back to the hotel for our what was becoming a daily nap. We actually went back to NOLA for dinner since it was down the street from the hotel. They had this awesome 4 course meal with wine pairing deal. It was an excellent last New Orleans meal. Afterwards we finally made it to the roof top pool. There we met some anti-St. Louis people from Chicago. It was awkward. Someone asked where we were from, and when I said St. Louis this woman booed. So I looked at her and said, “you must be from Chicago. Well I don’t like sports soooo.” There was this crazy little girl singing kind of morbid songs. My favorite song was, “Believe in yourself because you are real.” There was a verse about how some people live a long time, and some people die when they are babies and that’s okay. Pretty good stuff. For our last night, we headed back to Frenchmen street and went to the Spotted Cat, Maison and the Apple Barrel. I cannot express how cool and fun Frenchmen Street is. The music is awesome, the people are nice and there are so many different kinds and sizes of venues. The Spotted Cat is a smallish bar (cash only) that has live music every night. The patrons are a mix of tourists, hipsters and older folks. The Apple Barrel can fit 20 comfortably. The mix was mostly older folks with a handful of people in the late 20s. Maison was the largest venue and was also the most “normal” bar. The music at all the bars was awesome. We left Frenchmen Street at about 1 a.m. and head over to Cafe Du Monde for cafe’ au laits and beignets. Our waiter looked ancient, but dyed his hair black. He reminded me of a character that the Scooby gang would think is the villian when really he was just the weirdo janitor. I think of every dessert I had on vacation, mind you I got one with every meal possible, these beignets were the best. It was the perfect punctuation to an amazing vacation.

Friday I was awoken at 7:45 to our neighbors talking and carrying on. This put me in a bad mood, so we tried to sleep some more, but eventually gave up and packed our stuff and left. The drive back was punctuated with only 3 stops (unlike the 8 from the way down). One stop was at the dirtiest McDonald’s I have ever seen. The second was to eat Taco Bell at a Taco Bell/KFC were a man had brought in his own meal from another establishment. the third stop was for gas and driver switch. We got home to find a little cake with Batman in a wedding dress and the Green Lantern with a top hat in our fridge.

This week was amazing. My life is amazing. All of you are amazing.

Later Dudes.




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